Several years ago we wrote about Hailey's hospital visit and the recurrence of her illness. Last Thursday, she fell ill again and has been deteriorating quickly. With the loss of her lower body muscles, continued fever, and significant decrease in appetite, it's quite obvious that overall she is far from being her happy, jovial self. It feels like I'm in a horrible nightmare and can't wake up. You know.... the nightmare you're having that you're falling, but you suddenly wake up? I've been dreading the final decision to let her to go to the Rainbow Bridge.
The vet is in agreement with me, as she has not improved, but seriously worsened since Sunday. I know the vet already foresaw this coming, but knew I needed to mentally grasp the decision on my own. I cannot stop crying. My heart is heavily dispirited. Aching. Breaking. Shattering into a zillion teeny pieces. In my heart of hearts, I know I need to be very unselfish and allow my baby to run free without any pain. I've prayed and prayed. I have asked God to please put my heart at ease, as I know this is what is best for my precious Hailey. It breaks my heart to see her this way, but as some of us have faced before, we know when we arrive at this moment in time and we begin to question oneself with "is she better off going to the Rainbow Bridge?" Then we know what the decision is.
The vet is in agreement with me, as she has not improved, but seriously worsened since Sunday. I know the vet already foresaw this coming, but knew I needed to mentally grasp the decision on my own. I cannot stop crying. My heart is heavily dispirited. Aching. Breaking. Shattering into a zillion teeny pieces. In my heart of hearts, I know I need to be very unselfish and allow my baby to run free without any pain. I've prayed and prayed. I have asked God to please put my heart at ease, as I know this is what is best for my precious Hailey. It breaks my heart to see her this way, but as some of us have faced before, we know when we arrive at this moment in time and we begin to question oneself with "is she better off going to the Rainbow Bridge?" Then we know what the decision is.
I will hold my precious baby girl in my arms. Comfort her. Tell her how very blessed I am to have been rescued by her. Thank her for all the unconditional love, hugs and kisses that she has always shown me. She was there for me both times I received my diagnoses. This will be a furever pain in my heart. I am not looking forward to later this morning when we take the final ride together and I wish her lots of love as she approaches the Rainbow Bridge.
Please everone, let's all put our paws together and send many pawyer's for Hailey to have a quick, happy and sunny bright welcome as she begins her journey over the Rainbow Bridge, later today.
Just having to put all this into perspective, I know it's the best decision for her, although not for me. Thank you each and every pedi and furbaby who befriended us through the blogging years. You have no idea how thankful I am knowing you will all be here with unconditional love and support.
With much love, hugs & smoochies!
With much love, hugs & smoochies!
XOXOXO
Hailey's mom
